In last week’s landmark judgment, the Big City High Court ruled that humans ought to be more tolerant towards fellow species. The court instructed the Big City Corporation legislators to frame new laws for the city’s K-9 (read canine) residents, to accord them with the privileges due to every other human city dweller.
After a lot of brainstorming and deliberations with K-9 representatives, the legislators of the city have come to the conclusion that, since there are plenty of ‘cultural’ similarities between the two species (most notably wet-the-wall-in-public ceremonies, morning rites on railway tracks etc); K-9s can be considered almost equal to humans. Barring certain trivial external manifestations of useless and/or destructive intelligence, most humans are lagging behind on other desirable traits like faithfulness, truthfulness, morality, and many more (an entire appendix has to be written to include all). With corruption on the rise and in fact brimming over, throughout the country; the legislators noted, that working closely with the K-9s presented a better opportunity for controlling the malady. Through the hundreds of years of coexistence the K-9s have proven to be highly resistant to the said disease. One of the most senior and respected legislators of the state proposed that, greater cultural exchanges between the two species was necessary in present times and should happen on a regular basis. The K-9 representatives who took part in the discussions were Dg. Dachs Hund, Dg. Curson Rottweiler and Dgy. Puppy Poodle.
Scientists at the city’s premier research institute hailed the legislation as path breaking. Biologists and behavioral scientists are agog about the opportunity this legislation presents, like cross breeding for desirable traits. The director of the research institute Dr. A.B.C Def said a distant hybridization program has already been chalked out for breeding studies between K-9 s and humans, in a bid to ‘breed out’ the highly transposable genetic element carrying the cor mutation responsible for the human behavior of corruption. K-9 genetic studies have revealed that their genetic constitution rejects the gene and its effects. K-9s are also resistant to the GAC (Greedy Avaricious Capricious) virus that is thought to be the source of this transposon in humans.
Spiritual leaders of the city have welcomed the decision of the high court and have reiterated their support for the new legislation. Sri Sri Xacharya of the highly respected Yzian math, concluded his evening sermon with the words, ” ……….dogliness is the first step towards godliness.”
However a section of the city’s K-9s have aired their apprehensions regarding the new law. Some of the senior members of the community are still doubtful about the level of commitment from their human counterparts, having known them closely over a long period of time. They also expressed their fears regarding the proposed breeding program .They hope the experiments do not backfire. Senior K-9 representative Dg. Al Satian said the last thing the K-9 s wanted in their ‘life-of-a-dog’ is corruption.
In another part of the city, there is dissent among the K-9 right activists, who feel that the entire issue is hogwash and is against dog morals. They have demanded that no genetic exchange be allowed with humans lest the canine genetic pool be contaminated with bad human genes. The activists are arranging protest gatherings across the city. The main agenda of the first stage of these protests will be ‘howl-dharnas’. Female K-9 activist Dgy.Dora Labra said that in the event of their demands being not accepted, they will up the ante of protest with the next stage being mass defecation on public property and such other acts of civil disobedience.
As the first step of this new found cooperation between the two species, chairman of the K-9 Chamber of Commerce Dg. Mutt Hund, agreed to inspect the Big City rail transport system to study the feasibility of its use by K-9s to travel across pheromone barriers. Traditionally the K-9s have evolved with the ability and intention to travel from pee-to-pee. This is an aggressive and revolutionary effort on the part of the K-9 community to overcome evolutionary restrictions , towards modernism. The K-9 delegate was well received by the human commuters. Dg. Mutt Hund was visibly impressed by the way humans traveled. He also suggested provision of extra compartments for K-9 travellers.
Elsewhere, a section of the human society in a different part of the country has trashed the new legislation. K-9s have been the mainstay of their culinary civilization. They have grown up relishing ‘cur’-y (pun intended) delicacies and feel that such a legislation undermines their cultural inclinations and have voiced their strong indignation against such laws. SPETA ( Society for prevention of Eating The Animals) activists from all over the world have come out in support of the law and have vociferously denigrated ‘cur-eaters’ all over the social networking sites. They have mooted the idea of a country wide cabbage leaf rally ( where SPETA activists rally wearing no more than just cabbage leaves). Millions of the country’s netizens have ‘Like’-ed the idea while another couple million have actively typed their supportive ‘one-liners’ over these platforms. Countless supporters have in fact suggested using pine needles instead of cabbage leaves to add to the ‘ glamour and effectiveness’ of the campaign.
In a surprise twist to the week’s events, a new story has unfolded. A new group by the name of ‘Dog Lover’s ( in the word’s most extreme possible sense) Society’ has suddenly appeared on a well known social networking site, that has overnight gathered a fan following of a few thousand pseudonym bearing members. Discussions on the group’s forum range from various lurid tales to a possible inter-species live-in or marriage law.
Meanwhile in the country’s parliament, mud-slinging, fighting, name calling ensued over the week’s happenings following Big City Corporation’s bold legislation. The speaker of the house theatrically ushered the discussion with,”……to dog or not to dog.” However following the mayhem that ensued in the house over this issue, he was forced to adjourn the day’s proceedings. He was heard uttering the words “…….dogs, son of a *****…..” while beating a hasty and safe retreat from the house.
Well that’s all for today. Looking forward to an exciting week ahead.
Ciao.
